real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
