I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
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