i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
