I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
