I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
