I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
