Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
