guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
