Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
