Apparently you make a good broom.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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