I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
