my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
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