i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
they're like a gay fantastic four
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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