apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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