Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
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