u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Randomize
