at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
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