What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
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