found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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