I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Everyone says I win the strip club
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Randomize
