God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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