All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
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