Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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