Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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