Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
