when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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