I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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