i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Randomize
