Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
