Too much gin, very little bucket
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
