Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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