According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I deserve this hangover.
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