The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
