6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
