Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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