trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
