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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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