11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
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