Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
now i know why i became what i already was.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I didn't notice because vodka
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
