we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
3 2 1 whiskey
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Randomize
