im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
