my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Randomize
