so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
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