so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
