Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
