i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
