I want to stick my p in your. b.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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