I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
