You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
love makes seman taste better
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
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