Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
