Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
