But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Randomize
