I am puke
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
