so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
She's the barista slut.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
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