literally had 100 drinks last night.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
