i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
