so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
