So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Randomize
