playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
